NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
