I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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