My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
