I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
