We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
