Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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