Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
