Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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