I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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