I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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