people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
