Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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