sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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