You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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