I wish my penis had an off switch
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
