Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
