now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
