My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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