im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
