Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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