it hurts more in the daytime
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
