This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
