no. you can't hotbox the world.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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