so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
