The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
