This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
