i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
