when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
