I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
