i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
