I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
