I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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