shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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