don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
