But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
