Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
