so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
