have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
