I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
