yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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