Me too!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
