GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
