I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
