dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
third nipple confirmed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
