if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
