My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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