UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
