So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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