BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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