I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
please come you make the beer taste better
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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