i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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