can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
