Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
