dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
