Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
