Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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