You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
