I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
