I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
