matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
